Friday, June 23, 2023, 6:00PM through
Sunday, June 25, 2023, 3:30PM
Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament
3224 County Road 548
Hanceville, AL 35077
The Life-Giving Wounds retreat is a unique opportunity for young adult (18+) and adult children of divorce, separation, or family brokenness, to reflect intentionally on the wounds caused by their family’s breakdown, together with others who know this pain and knowledgeable, compassionate retreat leaders. With the help of God, retreat attendees learn to see how their life-draining wounds can become a life-giving mission of love for themselves, their relationships, and others.
The “path” of the retreat follows a Paschal journey through first the pain (“death”) of their parents’ divorce, separation, or dysfunction, by uncovering and grieving various layers of the wound, then the deep joy (“rising”) of accepting their deepest identity as a beloved child of God and becoming more aware of Christ in their lives and wounds, finally discovering a way forward (“going forth”) to sustain healing and a mission in the midst of their suffering.
This 3 day (Friday evening – Sunday afternoon) retreat includes:
Topics covered include:
Thanks to generous benefactors, the cost for attending the retreat is $100 for those who live in the Diocese of Birmingham.
The cost for non-residents is $150, and there is limited space available.
Please note: no one should be prohibited from attending this retreat due to lack of money. If this registration fee is impossible for you, there is a limited amount of scholarship funding available. Please call the Diocesan Office of Discipleship and Mission to request info about scholarship funds at: (205)776-7186
Beth Sri is the mother of eight children and is married to Catholic theologian Edward Sri. A graduate of Benedictine College, she was among the first FOCUS missionaries and has led numerous Bible studies and women’s groups. She is a contributor (with Edward Sri) to the Catholic for a Reason series (Emmaus Road) and a presenter in the acclaimed film series, Beloved: Finding Happiness in Marriage (Augustine Institute). Beth has been a guest on podcasts including Among the Lilies, How-To Catholic, and All Things Catholic. She and her husband are authors of a new book, The Good, The Messy and The Beautiful: the Joys and Struggles of Real Married Life, which was published this summer.
Beth is an adult child of divorce and has found opportunities to share with others about that wound and her path of healing, including on podcasts and at Catholic conferences. Beth also has a heart for women who are striving to live up to the beautiful ideals of Catholic marriage and find themselves surprisingly struggling in their marriages, in their motherhood and ultimately in their own brokenness. Her ministry and website www.borntodothis.org helps women know they are not alone in this noble endeavor and equips them to move forward in their vocation without fear.
Dr. Daniel Meola is the co-founder (with his wife Bethany) of Life-Giving Wounds. He holds a PhD from the Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family. As an adult child of divorce himself, Dan’s passion is helping ACODs find the healing that God desires for them and has accompanied hundreds of them in their healing journeys. He and Bethany have been happily married since 2011 and live in Bowie, MD, with their two daughters, Zelie-Louise and Grace.
As an adult child of divorced parents, Jen is passionate about Life-Giving Wounds. After attending her first LGW retreat in 2018, Jen followed the Lord’s prompting to get involved! Currently, she serves on the traveling retreat team, manages the Instagram account and occasionally writes for the LGW blog. She is also a contributor to Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak. With 15 years of professional nursing experience, her desire is to accompany others in their pain and empower, educate, and encourage them in their healing!
Fr. John Paul Mary, MFVA was born and raised in New Freedom, Pennsylvania. While growing up he enjoyed skateboarding and rollerblading. After high school he worked full-time for a hardware store and devoted much time and attention to his fixing and modifying his show car. He went back to school in the late nineties and earned an associates degree in engineering from DeVry Institute of Technology in 2000. Feeling a call to the priesthood he became a seminarian for the Diocese of Harrisburg, PA shortly after his graduation.
During his philosophical studies at the Pontifical College Josephinum, he visited the Franciscan Missionaries of the Eternal Word. Following his graduation from Seminary, he entered the MFVA community in October 2004 and he professed final vows on August 14, 2010. Br. John Paul completed his theological studies at Mount St. Mary’s Seminary on May 4, 2012 and earned a Masters in Divinity. He was ordained a deacon on June 2, 2012. On June 22, 2013 he was ordained to the priesthood by Bishop Robert Baker. Father now serves as the EWTN Employee Chaplain.
Please visit this page to see the mission and vision of Life-Giving Wounds.
Please visit this page for a better description of what the retreat entails.
The ministry of Life-Giving Wounds primarily focuses on spiritual healing, with the goal of participants knowing more deeply that they are beloved sons and daughters of God and growing in the virtues of faith, hope, love, and joy. Ultimately, we hope that all participants can come to see the wound of their parents’ divorce or separation as a profound resource for love. For this healing to occur, witness and friendship are essential: witness from those who know this pain and have progressed on the path of healing, and friendship with those who “get it” and can accompany each other. These elements are a key part of all retreats and support groups.
We believe psychological healing is an important complement to the Life-Giving Wounds ministry, and we both encourage participants to consider attending professional therapy and provide, when possible, lists of local trained and trustworthy counselors and therapists. We also integrate sound psychological principles and advice into our programs. But our retreats and support groups do not include psychological counseling or therapy.
Yes, we welcome people of all faiths, and those who don’t belong to a faith; the shared commonality is a desire to find greater healing after one’s parents’ divorce or separation. All we ask is that participants realize that different Catholic Sacraments and spiritual practices will take place during a Life-Giving Wounds event, such as Mass, Eucharistic adoration, praying with Scripture, the Divine Mercy Chaplet, etc. For non-Catholics, we are happy to “walk through” the schedule in advance, in order to make sure they are completely comfortable with the Catholic environment. Participants are also able to opt for journaling or quiet reflection in lieu of a particular religious moment
We encourage people to attend the retreat only if they feel emotionally capable of processing difficult situations and experiences from the past, as that is a key part of the retreat. We don’t want to put anyone into a position they are not ready for. We must allow healing to happen in God’s time, not our time. Also, if someone is seeing a counselor, psychologist, or spiritual director, then we highly recommend that they run this retreat by them in order to see if he or she thinks it is wise for them to attend at this time in their life. Remember, there will always be future opportunities.
We recognize that many people have already found significant healing after their parents’ divorce or separation, have been successful in their lives, established strong relationships, and feel close to God in their faith. Nonetheless, many participants tell us that this ministry opened their eyes to things they never thought of, which they found life-changing and important. (You can read some testimonies here.) Also, the reality is that often we can push things out of our mind that are still affecting us.
Put another way, we may need time to “thaw out” from painful experiences, so it is good to talk with others in similar circumstances to see if there is anything we can benefit from. The Life-Giving Wounds retreat doesn’t focus on the past in order to get “stuck” in the past, but to better live in the present. Therefore, we believe that this ministry has something to offer all adult children of divorce, no matter the amount of healing they have already received.
Yes, this ministry is for adults of various backgrounds, regardless of when their parents divorced or separated. We regularly have a mix of people whose parents divorced or separated when they were very young children, to whose parents just recently divorced or separated, and everything in between. All groups are usually represented and we seek to speak to the common wounds of all groups.
We use the word “separation” very broadly to refer to a variety of familial situations – parents who are currently separated but not legally divorced; parents who were separated for a time and reconciled; cohabiting parents who dissolved the cohabitation; parents who were never really “together”; and any other situation where one’s parents are no longer together in a relationship but are separated permanently. We have found through ministry that these adult children often experience similar pain to adult children of divorce, although they have their own unique situations as well.
Yes. We regularly have participants who have gone through their parents’ annulment process, and who come to our programs and benefit from them. We have discovered through their participation and witness that adults who have gone through their parents’ annulment process face virtually the same issues as other adult children of divorce and separation, with the added layer of the declaration of nullity, which can be experienced as either something further positive or negative.
The pioneering psychological research of Elizabeth Marquardt in Between Two Worlds and Judith Wallerstein in The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce shows that it is often not until young adulthood (or later in adulthood) that children of divorce have enough time and distance away from their parents’ divorce or separation to take a step back and see how it is truly affecting their lives. During childhood, most children, like their parents, are in survival mode and are not in the best position to examine the effects. It is also often the case that difficulties in romantic relationships, usually occurring in young adulthood, cause a person to realize that there may be a problem here to explore in more depth. In general, too, those who experience a trauma like divorce or separation often need time to “thaw out” before they are ready to process that experience. Finally, no national Catholic ministry currently provides the in-person and virtual services for adult children of divorce that Life-Giving Wounds does, so we seek to step into that gap.
There are different approaches you could take. You could invite a sibling to go with you on the retreat. You could just simply speak about the effects of your parents’ divorce in your own life in order to open up a conversation, which could include mentioning this retreat or the website. Or if you have already made the retreat, then you could share about your own healing journey and how the retreat helped. Hearing about and seeing your own healing is attractive to others and will draw people naturally to this ministry over time. However, it is important to recognize that some siblings may not be ready to look at the wound for many years for a variety of reasons. Everyone “thaws” out differently from the pain of their parents’ divorce or separation, with very different timetables. For some, it may take decades. Healing happens in God’s time, not our own. Thus, pray for your siblings and that God opens the door for you to discuss this with them.
The retreat is only for adult children of divorce or separation who are seeking to heal their wounds. If you happen to also be an adult child of divorce or separation, then you may attend – if you do it seeking your own healing and not simply seeking information about your children. This retreat is not the place to find out information about your children’s struggles because having a divorced parent present can be a tremendous emotional trigger. Participants need a safe place where they can speak freely and not have the fear of accidentally upsetting divorced parents who do not understand their struggles from the inside. If you would like to learn more about your children’s wounds, then please check out our recommended reading and audio page.
Before anything else, pray to God for your children’s healing and how best to approach this situation. Given your participation in the divorce (even if one was an unwilling participant or not the most at fault), it is very important for parents to suggest these opportunities with great humility, compassion, and a recognition of the pain caused to your children on account of the divorce. It is best if you start off with apologizing for the pain that the divorce has caused your children and that you are sorry for this reality without bringing up your own pain, attempting to minimize their pain, or defending your actions. Then, after that, please listen to your children if they choose to share anything and grieve with them to connect with them. At the right moment during the conversation that ensues, you could then suggest that you heard that this may be helpful for them and give them information. Please then give space and time for them to make this decision in order to address the wound because it is a very difficult thing to address, especially in cases after many years of silence on this topic, and no one likes pressure to go. Everyone “thaws” out differently from the pain of their parents’ divorce or separation and it is not uncommon that their pain is brought up many years after the divorce or at various points throughout life as the wound hits them in a new or fresh way.